Versus Black

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How do I cope with Having a Long Engagement?

I just got engaged but I am finishing up my degree at the local university. The problem is how do I cope I want to start planning now but i'm going to have to wait until October 2008 before we can marry. Any ideas on what I can do now to keep me in the wedding spirit? What types of things can I start scheduling and purchasing
I'm waiting to wed in order to finish my degree. It's something I've always wanted to have complete before I married someone

Cope? Depending on the size of the wedding, starting now would be fantastic.

My wife and I got engaged in April of 03, but married in August of 05. Even with that much time, we were still rushing, because we didn't think certain things would take as long as they did.

If your wedding is big (75+) try booking and interviewing *now* (Ours was 300). Our first two picks for wedding halls were booked until well past our wedding (we started looking in February of 04, they were both booked until January of '06!). Will they do food? Then you'll be at a tasting. If they don't, do they have prefered caters? If there's more than one, you'll probably be doing tastings there as well. Table covers, table cloths, seat backs, do they do those? Or will your florist do them?

Videographers and photographers have huge bodies of work. You have to take time and determine what kind of style you want, what kind of price range you want, and how long you want them there. Do they do posed pictures or no? What is their preference for color versus black and white versus sepia? Do you have a choice? What about parent's albums?

Same thing with flowers. What about the season you plan to get married? What flowers are blooming then? Will you need to special order flowers (we had to)?

And the wedding cake - unless you know a bakery that does wedding cakes to your liking, you'll have a few tastings to go to.

I didn't even mention the bridal gown, or your bridesmaid's gowns. For the bridesmaids, that took six months to get everyone together, get them to try on dresses, then try to get measurements. My wife's gown was a year in planning, but that was primarily due to where her seamstress was (we were in PA, she was in Upstate NY).

Depending on your religion or preferences, your minister may want you to do marriage counseling before they will administer the rites of the ceremony. In our case, we had two ceremonies, one unitarian and one hindu. We had to do this kind of thing for both. We had several interviews with both parties, including donations and church services, all of which happened over one and a half years.

Trust me, unless you're running off to Vegas, or getting a wedding planner, there's never enough time to plan a wedding. We were literally making decisions at the last moment... and we had two years too.

All I can say is, from a person who was there, PLAN NOW. You'll thank yourself on the wedding day. Start envisioning how your wedding will flow, and talk to your future spouse about what their vision is. If it's anything like my wife and I, you'll come to two different conclusions (not necessarily a bad thing). Two years isn't that far from now, I promise.

I'll leave you with this... my wife and I planned the wedding while she was graduating from law school and taking the bar exam in two states. It's not hard per se, just a lot of work.

Good luck and congratulations!

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